


A Heartfelt Farewell, A Hopeful Return

by Aureiya



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brotherly Love, Chick-Flick Moments, Crowley is a Little Shit, Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega, Ficlet, First Kiss, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sad Dean, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Tried to have deep meaning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:18:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7026394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aureiya/pseuds/Aureiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has to admit his feelings for Cas before it's too late. And this really may be his last chance, it being the end of the world and all.</p><p>(Spoilers for the end of Season 11)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heartfelt Farewell, A Hopeful Return

**Author's Note:**

> A re-write of Season 11 Episode 23: Alpha and Omega. It really needed to be spiced up with some gay angst, I felt it would not have affected the story at all to add it in there, and so I added it in myself.
> 
> Un-betad, may become a two part series, don't hold me to that

When Dean agreed to the Soul Bomb plan he knew he needed to tell Cas soon. He had almost done it in the car; when Cas began disparaging himself, and trying to explain how he just wanted to be useful; the love had just bubbled up into Dean’s throat and he had just almost stuttered out a “Cas, I-“when the phone had rang. And suddenly there was a chance again.

And he had hope that maybe everything would be alright, until it was decided that he needed to be the bomb. The pressure that these were the last moments with the people he loved, Sam devastated beside him and Cas’ face stoic but his eyes watery; Dean knew he only had these moments. 

Yet he still held back those words, his true feelings until he just couldn’t anymore. 

There they all stood, the strangest gathering of both some of the most highly evil and some of the purest good beings in the universe, morbidly in a graveyard. And Dean almost wanted to laugh through his breathing that was holding back tears. 

“What do you call the Ex-King of Hell, his Witch Mother, God who goes by Chuck, a fallen Angel, and two hunters who walk into a graveyard?”

He tried to think to himself in humor, because that was the only way he knew how to diffuse a painful, emotional situation. But looking at the sad faces, the pitying faces looking him to hear his last words, all he could think was “Doomed”.

He hugged Cas first, knowing that once he had said goodbye to Sam he wouldn’t be able to control himself. The hug stayed relatively safely in the “bro hug” zone, that was of course until they had pulled apart. Dean was about to give Cas a speech on taking care of his baby brother when Cas spoke first.

“Let me come with you.” The angel begged. 

And Dean couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t handle these feelings anymore, he couldn’t hide them deep within; not when Cas’ eyes were boring so deeply into his, his face screwed up with concern and pain.

Dean’s words for his brother’s care died in his throat staring at the angel, the MAN, he loved. In silence e brought his hands up to frame the chiseled jaw and the lined face he knew so well, and was so concerned he would not see again. 

“Cas,” He said quietly, knowing that probably the rest of the group could hear whatever he said but no longer caring when he had less than an hour left to live.

“I have loved you for a very long time, and since this seems to be the last chance…. Cas, may I kiss you?” Dean asked desperately, hoping, but knowing he wouldn’t push. Not in these few last desperate moments.

His shattered heart tried to shatter a little more when Cas leaned into the hands cupping his face, his eyes suddenly squeezed close with tears leaking out as he jerkily nodded his consent.

And finally, finally, after years the righteous man kissed the angel that raised him from perdition. 

Dean heard at least two different people say “Finally.” and a distinctive disgusted noise from the Ex-King of Hell. But he couldn’t bring himself to care, reveling in the one and only kiss he would probably get with Cas. 

It was relatively chaste, this pivotal kiss. A meeting of chapped lips, trembling from emotion, and lacking the wetness of a meeting of tongues. It was not to be that sort of kiss.  
When the two separated just mere inches to catch their breaths Dean rested his forehead against his loves and tried to bring his emotions back into control. 

“You can’t go with me Cas.” Is what Dean finally said when he felt like he could talk past the painful lump in his throat choking him. He pulled back some from Cas, keeping hands on his shoulders now, Cas’ own hands gripping his elbows as if they were the only thing keeping him up.

“You gotta watch out for Sammy for me you hear? I need somebody to make sure he doesn’t try anything. Will you do that for me Cas?” He begged the angel he knew would do anything he asked out of the loyalty of his heart. 

It took Dean a few more minutes of staring into Cas’ fathomless eyes and memorizing his face before he could pull himself a way and wipe his eyes. Digging in his pocket he pulled out the keys to Baby as he walked around Cas to get to Sam. 

Seeing his brother crying for him, and this time likely with no sudden and amazing return, made the emotional choker that much larger so that Dean almost couldn’t breathe as he pressed the precious keys into his baby brothers hand before pulling him into a hug; cursing once again that his brother had grown so tall and that he couldn’t feel as he was protecting him much anymore, even with how much Sam was trying to curl himself small and tight around Dean. It was Sam who was able to talk in a tear strained voice-  
“I thought you said no chick flick moments.” His laugh was a sob as Dean pulled back. The Winchester family certainly had their own special brand of avoidance.

“Yeah, yeah, no chick flick.” Dean agreed quietly. All the unspoken brotherly affection thick on his tongue. His face surely showing every emotion to his brother with their unhealthy level of codependency.

“You don’t do anything stupid now Sammy, or I’m gonna come back to haunt you.” Dean said, trying to ignore the thick wet quality of his speech. Sam’s smile was barely that, but it was the best Dean could hope for in this situation.

Practically tearing himself away from his brother he stepped back until he was more centrally in the small group that was gathered and could look around at the beings who would save the world and probably never get any acknowledgement for it.

Time for some of that Winchester coping.

“This is where I want my ashes,” he started off saying. Knowing they would probably never have ashes to spread.

“I like it here. It’s peaceful. I expect to have the best goddamn eulogy you hear,” this part he emphasized with a wobbly joking finger point at his brother and angel. 

“And none of that sad music either, only proper rock.” Dean had to stop and swallow, tears once again trying to escape. But he was going to hold onto his strong façade until the last possible goddamn second. 

He looked at everyone gathered again and let his gaze rest on the two people he loved most in the world as he knew time was now running short. He could tell they were trying to be strong, but they were both scared and undeniably sad. His chest hurt.

“Take care of each other.” Dean whispered and then turned to Chuck to nod.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Only five stood among the headstones then. Seconds later three stood as two crashed to their knees together. Sam having stepped up to hug Cas, but Cas being unable to hold in his grief at lost opportunities had allowed them to slide down. The two clinging to each other silently.

Chuck wobbled forward on Rowena’s arm to grasp Cas’ shoulder.

“I’m so sorry son, I thought you had already…” But God wisely trailed off, knowing nothing he could say would help the loss they were feeling.

“Well not to break off the pity party, but why not spend the end of the world properly at a bare?” Came the drawl from Crowley that made many want to punch his face. But none of the group was really up for fighting. Instead Sam led the group to pile into the Impala, and at Crowley’s direction drove to a bar under the light of the dying Sun.

When they arrived at the bar Cas wasn’t quite sure, verily still in a daze at the sudden information and the knowledge that though finally the love between him and Dean had been admitted, he would never get a chance to explore the possibilities of a relationship. He was glad that mostly no one was approaching him; Chuck’s attempt at comforting words had only made his ache worse.

Now waiting around for the world to end in an empty shabby bar, his father dying in the corner and the outside world dark though it was supposed to be a cloudless afternoon, Cas came to the horrific realization that he had never said he loved Dean back. Their one and only sweet shared kiss that Cas kept replaying on a loop of memory, and he had never responded with words. He had just sunk his head miserably into his hands once again, tear welling up when he thought he had finally been done, when Sam suddenly sounded frantic.

Quickly looking around Cas realized what had happened, Chuck had gone. In bursts both panic and hope swooped through Cas’ insides, and though no one left had any power in the matter, he prayed.

And then, it seemed his feelings on the matter were brightening, but no, that was the actual sun brightening!

In awe, the last four, exhausted and weary, watched as the empty bar filled with noon sun. After hours of trepidation, or had it been minutes?, they stepped outside to a world no longer on the brink of apocalypse. It had been saved once again, by Dean Winchester, and only the few gathered were the ones to remember it.

After shared relieved smiles and Sam gripping Cas’ shoulder in a too tight, happy and hopeful but worried, grip did the group decide to separate.

“It’s been fun Moose.” Was Crowley’s goodbye, and with a wink to Cas he swirled away. His mother the witch, watched him disappear both rueful and slightly proud. She then turned to the two men with a smirk.

“If you dearies need anything, just give me a call.” She said in her syrupy way that neither of them trusted much. 

“Thank you Rowena.” Cas said anyways, grateful she had helped with the Soul Bomb, even if it had sent Dean to his probable death.

And then it was just the two. The remaining dregs of Team Free Will, without their glue. But they had both made a promise to Dean, they were going to stick together, for him.  
As the two shambled quietly back to Baby, and crawled into her sun warmed interior, there was a tension of something that could be. And even though he had started the car and soft Kansas was streaming through the speakers, Sam didn’t drive away just yet. In stillness the two sat for a breath or two before Sam turned to Cas.

“Do you think that there’s a chance Cas?” Sam asked quietly, hoping and wishing for an answer he could cling to.

Cas turned his deep blue eyes to the young man in front of him. So worn, so weary, and yet so hopeful. Turning to stare at the perfectly bright sun, that moments before was about to be snuffed, Cas allowed the warmth of hope to fill him as well.

“Yes, Sam.” He answered openly, warmly. “I do think there is a chance Dean is alive.” And Castiel was damn sure going to wait for him to come back; the two had a lot to talk about.

With matching smiles Cas relaxed back into his seat and Sam stepped on the gas, and they started the drive back to The Bunker; back to home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Kudos always appreciated and criticism always welcomed!
> 
> Can't believe we have to suffer through another season of Supernatural


End file.
